Seven Years of Marriage
On Sunday, my wife and I celebrated seven years of marriage. In many ways I can’t believe it’s been that long and in some ways I can’t believe it hasn’t been longer. Seven years is a good amount of time. We’ve been through three moves, three babies, and a whole pandemic (still going). It has been joyous but not without its struggles. I’ve grown up a lot over these past few years. We both have. We were in our late-20s when we said I do and are now looking at 40 on the horizon.
You can say that neither of us are the same person who stood on that altar. We’ve grown together. Learning to be better communicators, friends, and so much more. We’ve also grown in different directions as we learned more about ourselves and have learned to love each other through it.
There’s that old cliche that marriage is the most sanctifying thing that can happen to you. I get it now. There are things about myself I don’t know I would have learned apart from this. Various fears, quirks, and joys that contribute to who I am today. That’s not to say growth could not have happened but this is just different. Meredith has opened my eyes to so much about the world and myself that I needed to learn from and with her.
Think About It
The dominant narratives about marriage are wrong. It’s more than just a piece of paper, you are committing your whole life to someone. There is no out for a bad day, week, or month. You have to learn to work through issues together. That old KJV word longsuffering comes to mind. Through the thick and thin of life, you are committed to being there.
On the other hand, marriage doesn’t save you. I’ve heard this a lot through the years. While it is sanctifying and grows you up, we can’t look to our marriages to be the end all for our lives. Hope found somewhere other than Jesus, even in something good like marriage, is misplaced hope. Sadly, your marriage can end or be taken from you at any moment. Looking at another fragile human to be your savior puts unwarranted pressure and expectations on them that they could never live up to.
I don’t know the full point of this letter, it’s more a random collection of thoughts as I reflect on the last seven years. But I just want to say thank you to my beloved, Meredith. My light, my rock, my anchor. My blessed wife for whom there is no analogue.